the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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