So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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