Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
