We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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