we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
