For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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