You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
