so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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