oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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