I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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