So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
