I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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