Nicole vs. Life
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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