When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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