Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
