so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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