Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i out mim tonsoeep
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
