I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
