Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
