I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize