Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
