The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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