if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
