we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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