pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
