Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
