I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
