I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
