Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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