Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
