You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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