Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I love you. Go after that dick
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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