Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i need some magic done to my vagina
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
