Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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