There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
