New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
