If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
