You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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