Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
