fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
