Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
