I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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