I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
