You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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