well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
