I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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