Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found puke in my bra..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
