Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
