im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
