Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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