Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
