New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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