So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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