She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
