that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just invented taco cereal.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
