You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
