I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
