We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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