She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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