Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
