i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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