On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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