I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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