Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
